This file has expired and is no longer available here. The owner of the topic can re-upload the file, or post a link to an off-site file. <BR><BR><a name="planetz-tag"></a>Uses: Pulsar Effects,Pulsar Mixers,Pulsar Synths<BR> copyright © 2003 Noah Laux & Miriam<BR> _____________________________________<BR><BR> Hi all,
This is the first attemp with Miriam...
This performance is her third take with this song she never heard before. Just jamming.
I been cutting a little in the refrain, but everything else is pure. WOW, I'm in love with this voice...
_________________
Yours truely
Noah Laux
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: thalamus on 2003-03-24 04:55 ]</font>
TRIPHOP WITH MIRIAM
The singing is definitely too much on the downbeats. I don't know if I heard her start a phrase somewhere else than on the first beat of a measure even once. Singers often do that, but your tune would gain tremendously by having the voice playing with independant rythmic patterns to create polyrythms rather than just underlining the rythm section which is already totally downbeat (and I like it like that).
I like the tone of the voice but I find the performance a bit anemic. Maybe to articulate more would make the words easier to understand. The breathing noises before the last verse don't fit at all imho, and the lyrics, well... Who wrote them? With such a rich textured ambience, I think that you really need a powerful text to render well this nice piece and not to dilute your excellent work of sound sculpture. Something with emotional positive content. Man, that would propell this tune like a rocket!
I hope my paddle is not too harsh, but when I post comments on music (which is very rare) it's because I find the work to be valuable and worth trying to improve! Keep up the good work!
Etienne
I like the tone of the voice but I find the performance a bit anemic. Maybe to articulate more would make the words easier to understand. The breathing noises before the last verse don't fit at all imho, and the lyrics, well... Who wrote them? With such a rich textured ambience, I think that you really need a powerful text to render well this nice piece and not to dilute your excellent work of sound sculpture. Something with emotional positive content. Man, that would propell this tune like a rocket!
I hope my paddle is not too harsh, but when I post comments on music (which is very rare) it's because I find the work to be valuable and worth trying to improve! Keep up the good work!
Etienne
-
AudioIrony
- Posts: 889
- Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2001 4:00 pm
- Location: Mood Ring Umbrella Satchel
First off - I want to say I loved this. The instrumentation was so well chosen and those drum sounds early in the piece - scorching - lovely crunch on the guitar as well.
Miriam's vocals reminded me of the vocalist from Portishead to begin with - and then they developed - I think possibly after you took the filter off them (??) SILKY indeed.
If I had to be picky - I think the line "....so lost " is a little out of tune - it's just that all the other verses sounded to be in perfect pitch that this one line jumped out at me towards the end of the song.
I can only say the total effect was Moody, silky and professional.
Miriam's vocals reminded me of the vocalist from Portishead to begin with - and then they developed - I think possibly after you took the filter off them (??) SILKY indeed.
If I had to be picky - I think the line "....so lost " is a little out of tune - it's just that all the other verses sounded to be in perfect pitch that this one line jumped out at me towards the end of the song.
I can only say the total effect was Moody, silky and professional.
---xxxxxxxx---
And Charlie said: "I'm cool with that" and set fire to a posh hammer to make it official
---xxxxxxxx---
And Charlie said: "I'm cool with that" and set fire to a posh hammer to make it official
---xxxxxxxx---
-
Thalamus
- Posts: 393
- Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2001 4:00 pm
- Location: Denmark (yes, we do have nice blondes)
- Contact:
Hi,
Thx for your critics.
I have to say first of all that if you have listened to some of my other stuff here at planetz (especially Thalamus stuff), I think this is the most "un-produced" music, I have posted. Both musicwise and songwise.
eliam : you are rigth about singing on the downbeats, I hear that now. But as stated earlyer her performance is her third attemp, with no lyrics by forhand, and no melodyline guides from me. Thats proberly why you find the articulation strange. Sure we're gonna work on the lyrics and make a prober melody.
She needs some coaching, curse she have never been singing in a real mic before, and have no other experience in music or song writing. Some things she does is great, some are less good. But i really feel a potiential
I guess I liked her voice so much, that I posted the song a little too early in the process. Sorry for that, though I find your comments superhelpful.
Bigrace : Yes, first off she reminded me of Portishead too, mayby something with her vibrato on endings? And yeah, I noticed that line you speak of.
Thx for your critics.
I have to say first of all that if you have listened to some of my other stuff here at planetz (especially Thalamus stuff), I think this is the most "un-produced" music, I have posted. Both musicwise and songwise.
eliam : you are rigth about singing on the downbeats, I hear that now. But as stated earlyer her performance is her third attemp, with no lyrics by forhand, and no melodyline guides from me. Thats proberly why you find the articulation strange. Sure we're gonna work on the lyrics and make a prober melody.
She needs some coaching, curse she have never been singing in a real mic before, and have no other experience in music or song writing. Some things she does is great, some are less good. But i really feel a potiential
I guess I liked her voice so much, that I posted the song a little too early in the process. Sorry for that, though I find your comments superhelpful.
Bigrace : Yes, first off she reminded me of Portishead too, mayby something with her vibrato on endings? And yeah, I noticed that line you speak of.
-
AudioIrony
- Posts: 889
- Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2001 4:00 pm
- Location: Mood Ring Umbrella Satchel
Yeah - all that Portishead stuff aside - this is a real gem and worth persevering with for sure.
If this girl can sing so well after 3 takes with no prior melody or lyrics - you are on a WINNER.
If it had of been me - I would have posted it early too - it's pretty special stuff.
The only thing I could fault was that one line - the downbeat thing eludes me - but I'm not very technical.
I'd love to hear any further versions - it's pretty inspirational to me because I like that darker space that you capture.
If this girl can sing so well after 3 takes with no prior melody or lyrics - you are on a WINNER.
If it had of been me - I would have posted it early too - it's pretty special stuff.
The only thing I could fault was that one line - the downbeat thing eludes me - but I'm not very technical.
I'd love to hear any further versions - it's pretty inspirational to me because I like that darker space that you capture.
---xxxxxxxx---
And Charlie said: "I'm cool with that" and set fire to a posh hammer to make it official
---xxxxxxxx---
And Charlie said: "I'm cool with that" and set fire to a posh hammer to make it official
---xxxxxxxx---
She is definitely worth coaching even if it takes a year or two! Beautiful voice as is, no doubt about it! I think the most important thing is not really to try to teach someone how to sing but rather what to sing and with which intentions! Sort of like an actor, who plays a text to make it live, emotion-wise.