PlanetZ forums - scopeusers.com

Posted: **Sun Jun 08, 2003 7:08 am**

ok, we've got a rant topic, so how about a joke topic?

I know you've all got some very funny music-related humour in you, so why not give us your best one?

I'll kick it off -

What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you throw a banjo down a well and it doesn't touch the sides.

Posted: **Sun Jun 08, 2003 9:06 am**

I'm in:

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine-shaft?

A-flat Minor...

Posted: **Sun Jun 08, 2003 9:27 am**

I´ll try this.

Two musicans pass a pub...

Posted: **Sun Jun 08, 2003 3:51 pm**

Q: How do you know the stage is sloping?

A: Slobber flows only from the other corner of the bass player's mouth.

Posted: **Sun Jun 08, 2003 4:41 pm**

Who is the guy, who always hang around with the musicians?

The drummer

Posted: **Sun Jun 08, 2003 7:40 pm**

That's called a "musician's labourer"

Posted: **Mon Jun 09, 2003 11:29 am**

Tourette Syndrome Barbie - must see !
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/t-barbie.php

Posted: **Mon Jun 09, 2003 1:05 pm**

a guy died and when got to st peter's he first met a guitarist,
they started talking about different things like the "rock myth" and
if you really have to live fast and die young and so on.

next he met a pianist and the given topic here was giants like mozart,
chopin and so on.
they also had a long discussion about harmonies, different
musical styles, key changes and music theory in general.

last he met a drummer sitting by himself in a pair of shorts and a tanktop.
after sitting quiet for about 3 hours the drummer turned to the guy and said:
"so what kind of drumsticks do you use?"

ehrrm... it was funny when i heard it..

Posted: **Tue Jun 10, 2003 7:49 pm**

MAN i sure know how to ruin and end a good topic..

Posted: **Wed Jun 11, 2003 3:19 am**

Don´t worry siberiansun

I heard that one yesterday:

What is the different between a drummer and a metronome ?

-

The metronome stays in time and don´t sleeps with your girlfriend.

[ This Message was edited by: ChrisWerner on 2003-06-11 04:20 ]

Posted: **Wed Jun 11, 2003 7:04 pm**

heh, keep 'em coming, them drummers need to be picked at.

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2003 11:37 am**

well, this is not really a joke, but it got us laughing real good:

the bass player of our band (we don't have a drummer... btw) just bought a drum set. now, this bass player, a real bigmouth, said it was rather fun to play the drums, but in the beginning he had a hard time getting things going. all of a sudden, he got the groove...
why? well, he said: 'i just stopped thinking, and then it was a piece of cake...'
like i said, not intended as a joke, but a good laugh indeed.

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2003 12:26 pm**

Nice one Borg, that´s reminds me on a discussion I had with a drummer some times ago.

We played in a practice room (rock or something) and I pleased him to play his drums in a more dynamic way.

He answered, I can´t play louder....

Posted: **Thu Jun 12, 2003 4:29 pm**

recently in a small music shop they a kind of 'poor man's didgeridoo' made from a piece of giant hogweed (the one featured in an old Genesis track...), well I had it in my hands, pretty light, strange brown color...
Actually the dude who made it was there and we had a little talk about the plant it's made from, how he did it, how much one could charge for that crap, bla, bla...
He finally mentioned something like '... yeah and to get it right you have to dry them in the sun and MOST important: I frequently piss on them to get that pretty color...'

arrrghhh, seems I looked a bit confused...

Posted: **Fri Jun 13, 2003 2:11 am**

i made a few of them out of a black plastic sewer pipe(not used of course but plasic wouldn't absorb that pretty color any way). and used some bees wax to make the mouth piece. bees wax is also available at the hardware store in cakes. don't get to thick of a sewer pipe because they are harder to get resonating 1.5-2". the larger the pipe the lower the note. don't ask me how to circular breathe it takes a lot of practice and a clear nose.

the forum screwes me on white spaces and back slashes. it's a half circle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!###!!!!$%!!!!!%$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Code: Select all

       ___
    __/   __
  _/         _
 /_____________

sort of what the hole looks like. hold it up to one side of the mouth lightly and blow.

no joke why pay some dumb ass 100+++ to piss on a piece of bamboo.

j9k

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thanks for the tip immanuel

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Posted: **Fri Jun 13, 2003 3:09 am**

I am impressed by your persistance

Have you tried using code? {code} {/code} just with [] in stead of {}

I don't know - maybe it does the trick.

Posted: **Sun Aug 08, 2004 7:48 am**

You don't need a translation for this one

http://www.k10k.net/pages/front_frames/ ... x?wmID=351

Posted: **Sun Aug 08, 2004 11:54 am**

Mom decides that it is time for 8 year old Johnny to learn an instrument. They watch some bands playing on television and Johnny comes to the conclusion that he would like to play Bass. So Mom phones around and finds a Bass teacher and arranges for once a week lessons on Friday afternoons.

The first Friday comes along and Mom drives Johhny to his lesson. She comes back after half and hour and finds a very excited Johnny. "Mom, Bass playing is great! Today we learned all about the "E" string, it was sooo cool! I really like playing bass!" The mother is quite proud of her son's enthusiasm and is so happy that he enjoys the lessons so much.

Next Friday arrives and once again johnny comes out of the lesson all excited. "Mom, today was great! We learned all about the "A" string! I'm so glad I'm taking Bass lessons!!" Mom thinks this is wonderful and is relieved that Johnny looks forward to the Friday afternoon lessons.

So next Friday rolls around and Mom drops Johnny off as usual. However when she returns to pick him there is no one there. Confused she goes home and waits to hear from Johnny.

Finally, after a night of frantic worry, the door opens at 2:00 in the morning, and there's Johnny. He stinks of booze and cigarettes, his eyes are all red, and he looks exhausted.

"Where have you been! I've been worried sick! It's 2:00 in the morning!"

Johnny replies "Hey Mom, lay off me would ya! I just played my first gig!

R

Posted: **Sun Aug 08, 2004 12:40 pm**

edited to protect the guilty

[ This Message was edited by: spirit on 2005-03-07 08:36 ]

Posted: **Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:28 am**

music business......