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a rather deep topic actually..
I usually stick to "nobody is a waste of time" and try to be as helpful to anyone as much as possible. sounds too good to be true? Well, let's just say, I don't actively pick people to ignore or be mean to.

But recently I'm starting to believe that this is not very efficient. Am I just becoming jaded or is my mind being poisoned by city life? There is not enough space on earth for the number of class-a a-holes it holds it seems. And so it hurts me to see that such a-holes thrive on the kindness of other people. They seem to pile up the scraps of kindness they can get and eventually build a mountain. So it seems to me, well, why support the cause? Why not just say, fxck off, and be a jerk somewhere else?

I would like to believe that there is a consequence of abusing people connections, or abusing people in general. In the ideal world, a total jerk would somehow reap his share in the end. But that is not necessarily true. The it is somewhat like a liberty paradox. If a jerk practicing his liberty is crossing over to my liberty, should I be a jerk and practice my liberty, to cross over his liberty?

I guess all this wouldn't be a problem if there were less a-holes in this world. I hope 2010 produces less of them. I strongly believe that all this I love NY business is stockholm syndrome.

That is just simply what Konfuzius said about learning. You took method three, which means learning by experience what is the bitterst method.

many people are a waste of time FOR YOU because you can't help them or vice versa. self preservation requires defending yourself against anyone attempting harm upon you, whatever form the harm might take. defending yourself includes deflecting energy and teaching, as well as violence. you are no help to yourself or others if you allow yourself to be damaged and/or rendered non-functional.

there's a big difference between theory and the real world. every situation is different. however, in a city like New York, there are too many people in one place for any of them to be responsive and loving to all. there's just too much competition. fail and the only warm place might be down an unused subway tunnel. New York doesn't have time for bull, but there are always new suckers who will fall for it...still, you're living the life, kensuguro. you're still my hero.

KenS.
You're just bnecoming a New Yorker finally.
I mean you already got mugged, that was an early initiation too...
I have a few bro's who still gig around up there and the motto is......
Welcome to NY, now get the fuck out..Yoy've earned the right to say that now..

There are plenty of oxygen thieves. For instance what is the point of Paris Hilton? Seriously. Stop stealing my air.

In my point of view no kindness is ever a waste of time, even though it might seem so at the surface. After all all life is one, so whatever unkind feeling you send forth you truly inflict to yourself, and more than that you set up a cause of which you'll reap the effect sooner or later... Why do you think mankind is submerged in chaos and conflict, if not because of the unbridled resentment and irritation and hate that they (we) have set into motion?

Being loving and kind does not mean to let parasites draw on our energy, but I find that the firm decision to be kind creates a protection around the individual which repels automatically the vampires that roam around. It creates a peaceful state which makes it easy to be affirmative and positive without any irritation. My conviction is that if someone sends you negative stuff it is a challenge to see if you will give in and lower your energy to the level of the conflict, or keep your poise, set the example for the world and break the destructive vicious circle of revenge. Forgiveness is the only way out of hell.

In cities you learn to maintain your own space 'bubble', and not take anyone's actions literally.

Greg

It's an interesting place to visit. With so many people, there are bound to be all kinds. In a study of rats, crowding was shown to bring out the worst behavior. People are going to think where they are is best but how can they judge it if they have only lived there or in few other places?

siriusbliss wrote:In cities you learn to maintain your own space 'bubble', and not take anyone's actions literally.

Greg

yes.

That’s a big one

I would take into account, first of all, that every human being has sort of an inner child crying for love and help, pretty lost into the realms of life, that is: he’s lost into his own philosophical, psychological and spiritual world content, which usually makes no sense when compared to the outer life. Said it in other words, nobody knows oneself in depth, unless you devote your entire life to this purpose and make all the necessary efforts to reach who you really are.

I don’t care what people may say about what they want, don’t want, about what they pretend to know because of books, schools and universities, the knowledge I’m talking about has nothing to do with it, and cannot be transferred. Only you yourself can get to know who you are, without any adds, your unprotected, naked “you”.

I have taken the time to study life very seriously for about 30 years now, and I feel I have just started to get to know something about myself, in depth… I don’t pretend to know who I am, no yet, but I can assert for sure today Ken, that everybody needs certain basic things in their lives, no matter who they believe they are, I will name just a few and then the most important: understanding of our way from others, sincere love, a certain level of significance, feeling the joy to serve the world and be recognized for what you do in society, to find deep inside oneself the reasons that make life important, and the most imperative point of them all well beyond absolutely anything else: TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER BEING!

Unfortunately, very few people know what they want… they rather wonder around life, and when they hear something like this statement, they get into violent reactions: anger, denial, insults, lots and lots of philosophizing that means nothing but escape the real inner situation, trying hard for everybody around them to believe they are STRONG, self-reliant people, when in fact… they are crying children deep inside themselves, just like we all are… “lost crying children in a life we don’t understand”…

Please, allow me with all the respect I have always shown to you, to ask you to do sort of an exercise that will bring you lots of answers and revelations to your question.

The first step to your thoughts Ken, would be to search inside yourself, this VERY fragility I’m talking about, deep inside, in your own. Find it and recognize it without anger, without denial, without justifications about what you have been able to do, to render, to say, to build, etc., just, accept this part of human nature which is TO BE LOST IN LIVE. Be cold, sharp, objective when looking at yourself, don’t break away from the real thing through justifications, even if it is hard to see and accept many aspects of oneself what are really disgusting or just bad ugly.

If you can do it successfully, well, this will speak very high of yourself, because that will mean that you are a sincere person looking for the real thing, someone ready to accept its own weakness.

If you could do it, so then, and only then, you will be able to go to the second step, which is “to get into your fellow shoes, I mean by that putting yourself into the life that this person that bothers you so much is having, trying as hard as you can, to see, feel, understand life as he does without getting into judgment, trying to really be that person in your imagination for a few minutes at least.

After you’ve done it, you will discover in amazement his poor life, his confused inner world, his lack of fulfillment, meaning and direction in life, and you will feel compassion for this poor guy. Your reaction to his stupidity will be much, much better, you will treat him much better and you will feel as well much better yourself.

If you can recognize your own mistakes, wrong states of mind, your own ego and put it all down, and then put yourself into your fellow’s shoes, you will succeed at completely transforming these states of mind every time it happens. If you persevere with this life exercise, people around you will also feel different and better with you.

Of course, you will rarely change what they say, do and want, but the BIG difference, is not in their acts but in your reaction to them.

Now, if someone is so, so stupid as never understanding anything, and his way is always an forever the same, repeating the same dishonest things, saying lies, taking advantage, etc., there is no other solution than braking relations completely, but you will feel better yourself if you worked this way, and will also avoid believing that “others” are wrong and only you is “right”. This is never that way completely, we also are at times the “aggressors”, the “offenders” to others.

I give you this advice as a friend; I hope you listen to me seriously, and with your heart

From my experience, the only people who really are a total waste of time tend to be those with zero sense of objective self-criticism (and showing no signs of developing it), those full of ego and self-righteousness to an absolute level, and often simply rather stupid people (although not all stupid people are a total waste of time). Sadly I've found that there is quite a significant number of these kinds of people, although not necessarily a majority. I guess as you get older and more experienced you start to value your time more, and cannot justify wasting it on such idiots.

I personally don't make it my task to help them... IMHO self-realization (on many different levels) is the goal of each person in life. Trying to help such people usually only results in belligerence and hostility (usually because there's a lot of subconscious self-loathing and anger going on in there). But I disagree that total jerks don't get what's due... I think it's only a matter of time until they piss off the wrong person, or just mentally/spiritually destroy themselves on their own.

darkrezin wrote: But I disagree that total jerks don't get what's due... I think it's only a matter of time until they piss off the wrong person, or just mentally/spiritually destroy themselves on their own.

that's true. having money, power or whatever is not the same as feeling satisfied and happy in life.

Almost all people are a waste of time.

It is time to thin the herd, n'est pas?

Exactly, make all birth control free and easy to get.

But wait until you have an Orbiting DeathRay Platform. That really does change things. Really it does.

Like this:
http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Zeus_Cannon

It just blows ennui away completely.

garyb wrote:

darkrezin wrote: that's true. having money, power or whatever is not the same as feeling satisfied and happy in life.

darkrezin wrote:From my experience, the only people who really are a total waste of time tend to be those with zero sense of objective self-criticism (and showing no signs of developing it), those full of ego and self-righteousness to an absolute level, and often simply rather stupid people (although not all stupid people are a total waste of time). Sadly I've found that there is quite a significant number of these kinds of people, although not necessarily a majority. I guess as you get older and more experienced you start to value your time more, and cannot justify wasting it on such idiots.

I personally don't make it my task to help them... IMHO self-realization (on many different levels) is the goal of each person in life. Trying to help such people usually only results in belligerence and hostility (usually because there's a lot of subconscious self-loathing and anger going on in there). But I disagree that total jerks don't get what's due... I think it's only a matter of time until they piss off the wrong person, or just mentally/spiritually destroy themselves on their own.

Allow me to take your comment as part of what I said myself before. I feel really close to your way of thinking in these statments. I have seen exactly the same things than you did and I am conviced to the bone of these facts. You're not talking theory, but real experience, and at the end of the day, this is all, or there is nothing.

Dear Ken ,
Recognise it , get over it , apply the appropriate filter, and move on in the firm belief that Karma IS .
You can feel sorry for them when the shit hits their personal fan , but , the only person who can do something about being an A hole is the A hole themselves so dont waste your time/breath on their problem. Just set a good example and one day ,you never know ,a little light may turn on in their mind .
Paulboy

and anyone who truly believes in "thinning the herd" is a traitor to his own kind and deserves to be among the first to be eliminated. almost everyone is dearly loved by someone...

there aren't even that many people(!), although living in a major city, that'd be hard to believe. the earth is much bigger than advertised. once again, i'll point out that if all the humans in the world(6.5 billion) were packed into the state of texas, there would be 1100 square feet per person. just because they have us packed into cities like sardines, doesn't mean that there isn't a whole lot of inhabitable space if people decided to spread out. it really wouldn't be a problem, except that so few have claimed ownership of so much(QE2 owns 1/6 of the surface of the earth by her self, having nothing to do with her royal title).

eugenics was founded on the premise that commoners were too numerous to be safe for their rulers, and that a better class of slave should be developed and bred, eliminating those bothersome traits like self-preservation(really! there have been plenty of books written by eugenicists speaking just this). zpg and other eugenic groups have really skewed human thinking. the main reason most people are for shit, is the bad idea that people are useless and worthless, a fine bunch of propaganda(here's a perfect example. to Suzuki, you are a maggot. this is a subtle devaluation of human, and therefore YOUR, the reader's, life).

all that said, there ARE those who are not worth one's time, but that's not really an excuse to kill them...

The only problem is that the intelligent people tend to take the birth control while the stupid people multiply. You can't force anyone to do anything in a free country but giving them an incentive to have children with tax exemptions for dependents is a really bad idea. That is the reverse of eugenics. That is saying, let's pay people to decrease the average IQ.

There are under 7000 tigers left on the earth. There are over 6 billion people. If we could get the # of tigers back up I'd be glad. Now I'm not suggesting feeding the people to the tigers, but ...

Too many people unfortunately. Just because people love them doesn't mean there aren't too many people. Things are very much out of balance, as you'll see over the next 100 years. The growth rate of human population will, in real terms, cause billions to be living a hell like existence. Zimbabwe will look good by contrast. We don't have to kill people, but control population growth.

Unfortunately, it's not human nature to control its population, so most of us are going to be in for a horrible ride as a consequence. Luckily, the rich elite will live in rather stylish mercurial bubble domes with triple-filtered air and really big synthesizers and champagne on tap. I'm happy for them.

garyb wrote:and anyone who truly believes in "thinning the herd" is a traitor to his own kind and deserves to be among the first to be eliminated. almost everyone is dearly loved by someone...