And now for something completely different...

Spirit · Post by **Spirit** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 5:37 am

Jokes. I read recently that fanatics usually have a very poor sense of humour. If they did know how to laugh then they'd probably realise how silly they were being. Ah, but anyway...

First, a guide to the web:
http://gorillamask.net/reallifevsinternet.shtml

Picks from the Edinburgh festival:

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Marcus Brigstocke

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Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

Jimmy Carr

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The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

Chris Addison

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My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

Patrick Monahan

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The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be sh***ing herself.

Colin & Fergus

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My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.

Susan Murray

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Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?

Adam Bloom

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You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?"

And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening ..Self-raising?"

Addy Van-Der-Borgh

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The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and
punched someone in the face.

Jeremy Limb

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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

Mark Watson

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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Demetri Martin

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A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please".

The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?"

The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

Steven Alan Green

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I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already got one!"

Norman Lovett

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It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

Chris Addison

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I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it.

Arnold Brown

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If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel,
then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're
trained for that.

Milton Jones

darkrezin · Post by **darkrezin** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:35 am

Can't comment on your hypothesis regarding fanatics as I'm not one and I don't know any, but I like Monty Python and Bill Hicks.. does that meet your humour criteria?

Spirit · Post by **Spirit** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:51 am

Here's the article... "Putting the fun back into fundamentalism "

http://www.newmatilda.com/home/articled ... egoryID=78

darkrezin · Post by **darkrezin** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:13 am

What an insightful article. Reminds me a little of the Daily Mail or Reader's Digest.

Actually one of the things I find incredibly funny is the way that people who protest about injustice are portrayed as fundamentalists, self-indulgent potheads, idealistic stooodents or just plain boring and should get drunk and laid a lot more.

Stereotyping is pretty central to most modern comedy after all.

Spirit · Post by **Spirit** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:24 am

C'mon Dark, we're just trying to have a laugh here...

Post by **hubird** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:48 am

............. 'I'm crying, can't help it looks like laughing'

darkrezin · Post by **darkrezin** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:59 am

Okay, sorry for getting facetious... here's a good one:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library ... oposal.htm

darkrezin · Post by **darkrezin** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 8:02 am

And another...

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library ... ellwar.htm

darkrezin · Post by **darkrezin** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:32 am

Perhaps some visual humour...

Counterparts · Post by **Counterparts** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:12 am

*wades in*

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway.

While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window and says, "Yes?" The bike responds, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The driver says, "No I haven't."

The biker drives on, until he sees the next car. While passing it, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window and says, "Yes?" The bike responds, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The driver says, "No I haven't."

Then, suddenly, there is a curve, the biker sees it too late. He crashes off the road into a ditch. A car stops and a man runs to the unlucky biker. Covered in blood and surely dying, the biker asks, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The man replies, "Yes I have. I had a Honda for 20 years". The biker asks, "Where are the brakes?"

*wades out*

wayne · Post by **wayne** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:33 am

Kenny G walks into an elevator....

...."Man, this place ROCKS!"

Rob van Berkel · Post by **Rob van Berkel** » Wed Sep 07, 2005 9:43 pm

My kid went back to school after her summer-vacation. She now learns the alfabet:

A is for Apple
B is for Bear
C is for Charlie
D is for Lysdexia
...